A Step in the Right Direction
by fananicfan
Summary: A story that begins at the hospital when Mac comes to check on Harm and Mattie...of course it takes a different course after that.


JULY 2008 CHALLENGE STORY - A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

JULY 2008 CHALLENGE STORY - A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

By fananicfan

Challenge 2008 lines for July.

Harm: Have you ever had your life turned upside down?

Mrs. Gale: Have you ever had your heart stop?

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount. No copyright infringement intended. Original characters, story ideas and story are the property of this author.

AN: This story has to happen while Tiner and the Admiral are still around, but aside from that you can put it in just about any place you think it should have happened. I hope you like it.

A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

McMurphy's

1900

I'm sitting in a bar in DC because I can't say goodbye to her. How can I? I have no idea how I'm going to get through each day without seeing her. If I don't go to her going away party at the Roberts' home and acknowledge that she's being transferred, then I might be able to believe that she's just away on an assignment, and not at a new duty station miles away.

... ..Five Days Earlier ... ..

There's a tap at my door, but before I can give a formal "enter," Bud has entered my office and is babbling about something in that flustered way he has when he's rattled by something.

"Bud, breathe and start again, slower this time. I didn't get a word of that."

Bud takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly before beginning again. "Sir, I had to go to the admiral's office. Tiner wasn't at his desk, but I didn't want to knock on the admiral's door unannounced, so I buzzed his office from Tiner's phone. That's when I saw the open file on his desk and, right on the top, sir, was Colonel MacKenzie's transfer orders. Sir, the colonel is being transferred to a new duty station!"

"Are you sure that it was signed orders, Bud?"

"Yes, sir, she's leaving."

"It happens, Lieutenant. Transfers are a way of life in the military. Hell, I could be gone from here on my next rotation date."

"But, sir, she's different, isn't she?"

"Yes, Bud, she's a Marine. Maybe we'll get back to an all Navy office. That'd be nice, wouldn't it?"

"I guess so, sir."

"Now, don't you have work to get back to? I know I do."

"Yes, sir."

--PRESENT--

Bud Roberts left my office that day deflated. I don't know what he expected me to do. I'm not the admiral. I couldn't change her orders so she could stay at HQ. If Bud had been waiting to get more of an emotional response from me upon hearing the news, I couldn't oblige. I was in shock. I didn't know what I was feeling about her departure.

... ... THREE DAYS AGO ... ...

The admiral announced her transfer this morning at the staff meeting. I had a motion hearing immediately after the meeting, so I haven't spoken to her since it became official.

I tap on the door frame of Mac's office, and she looks up from her computer monitor. "I was going to tell you, but it just never seemed like the right time."

My eyes stay locked on hers. "I'd heard a rumor, so I can't say that the news took me by surprise."

"It's a nice assignment. It's a smaller office there, so that might be nice."

"Yeah. It'll be easier for you to win cases ... no competition."

"Yeah, no Harmon Rabb, Jr. to keep me on my toes."

I can't keep eye contact with her anymore. I look down at the floor. "Yeah, and no Sarah MacKenzie around here to keep me on mine."

"You'd better watch it, Harm, or I'll get the feeling that you'll miss me."

"I've told you before that I don't like to break in new partners."

"You ruined another opportunity for us to have a Hallmark moment. I'm glad to see that you'll never change."

She's smiling and laughing. God, I'm going to miss that. When did she get under my skin like this? When did I stop seeing Diane when I looked at her? When did I start caring about her? When did I become caught in her web ... or was it a spell that she cast over me? It doesn't matter really. Whatever it is, I don't want to say goodbye. The sound of her voice asking me a question pulls me from my reverie.

"Bud and Harriet are throwing me a going away party on Saturday. Are you coming?"

"Mac, that's only three days away."

"A week from Monday, I'll be reporting to my new duty station. They thought that I'd be too busy with last minute preparations for the move or moving itself to attend a party next weekend." I don't know what look I have on my face, but it must be one that she believes says that I don't want to come, because she offers me an out to the party before I've said a word. "Bud and Harriet are worried that they'll never see me again, even though I tried to assure them that I'll drive up every couple of months to see little AJ. They're acting like Quantico is half way around the world. It's only a few hours from Washington. I know that it's a last minute kind of thing, so don't miss your big date. I'll give you a call when I know that I'm coming into town ... maybe we can have lunch."

"Yeah ... .lunch would be great. Look, I've got a trial to get ready for. I'll check my schedule. I'll make it Saturday if I can."

"Sure, if you can, I'll see you there."

--PRESENT--

My feet felt like lead weights as I left her office, trudging the few feet between her office and mine that day. I reached my office and plopped down in my chair. There had to be a reasonable explanation for what was happening to me. I still haven't figured out what it is, though.

I lift the glass from the bar to down the last swallow of my third beer. The party should be winding down now. She's my best friend. I should at least make an appearance at her going away party. I just hope that she doesn't use the word goodbye. I hate goodbyes. Goodbyes are formal and final. You say goodbye to those you know that you'll never see again, and she said that we'd have lunch when she comes up to visit.

I put my empty glass down on the bar and take a deep breath. I reach in my pocket for my keys and remember that I took a cab. I wasn't planning to be able to walk when I left here. I reach into my pocket to pull out my cell phone, but I'm distracted by a stranger who comes in and bellies up to the bar between me and the only other guy sitting at the bar three stools away.

"I'd like a scotch ... the best you've got ... on the rocks." He looks down at the guy three stools down and then over to me. "And I'd like to buy my friends at the bar here another round of whatever they're having."

"What's the occasion? Drowning your sorrows or celebrating?" the bartender asks the stranger.

"Celebrating, have you ever had your life turned upside down?" He pulls money from his pocket to pay for the drinks that he's just ordered.

"You're celebrating having your life turned upside down?" I ask him.

"A few month's ago, I thought I was happy. I had a good job and had just accepted a promotion that would put me on the fast track to being the youngest VP in my company's history. I took the job and I started jet setting around the world and doing everything that I'd ever envisioned myself doing. I was dining in the finest restaurants, staying in the finest hotels and rubbing elbows with my CEO idols, but, somehow, it wasn't what I thought it would be, but I couldn't figure out why." He lifts his glass and takes a drink before he finishes. "Then, two days ago, I got to come here for the first time since I got promoted. I had dinner with my girl that night, and that's when I knew what was wrong with my life. I'd been missing her. I'm in love. And figuring out that my dream job was no longer my dream job turned my world upside down, but it's a good feeling. I stopped by here ... " He lifts his glass, indicating his drink. " ... for a little shot of liquid courage." I'm going to ask her to marry me tonight. She's the one. You know, the one that you know that, no matter what life throws at you, as long as she's there to take the next step with you, it'll be a step in the right direction."

The guy at the other end of the counter offers his congratulations, and I offer mine before pulling out my cell phone to call myself a cab.

Though our situations are somewhat different, I finish the beer that the stranger bought and thank him for opening my eyes before telling him that I've got some place that I've got to go.

My cab pulls up to the curb, and I look at my watch. The party at the Roberts' place is probably over. I need to see Mac now that I know why I can't say goodbye to her. I'm in love with her, and I can't see me being happy with my life without her being in it.

I take a deep breath and give the cab driver the address of Sarah MacKenzie's Georgetown apartment building.

I'm standing in front of her door, just staring at it. I've been trying to think of what to say on the cab ride over here, but my alcohol soaked brain can't think of a thing to say to her ... at least that doesn't sound like I'm whining and desperate.

'It's now or never,' I say to myself, but it comes out of my mouth, and the lady a couple of doors down who's trying to unlock her door, eyes me suspiciously.

I ignore her and firmly rap twice on Mac's door. 'I'll wing it. Something will come out of my mouth.'

To my surprise, I don't have to knock again because the door opens and I see the face that I'm dreading that I'll never get to see again.

She steps to the side to allow me to enter as she says, "I thought you were going to force us into another awkward goodbye at the office on my last day."

I see that she already has boxes packed and stacked in one corner of the room. "Can't wait to get away from here, can you?" I ask, pointing at the boxes I've seen.

"I can't say that I'm happy about the transfer, but it is a part of the job. The admiral told me that when I protested the assignment."

"You protested?"

"Of course, it isn't easy to leave the first command where I've felt like I was part of something bigger ... part of a family. My heart stopped for a moment when I read my duty station location box on my orders. I don't suppose you know what I mean. Have you ever had your heart stop beating for just a fraction of a second? Had it stop because you knew that your life was about to change forever and you didn't know if it was for the better or not?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I'm staring at her. She's in her flannel cowboy pajamas. She's cute, not sexy tonight, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to take her into my arms and kiss her. The silence that has fallen between us has caused her to move closer to me, and I reach out and pull her to me. My lips crash onto hers. She doesn't fall under the spell of my kiss immediately, but it doesn't take but a few seconds before she has her arms wrapped around my neck, encouraging our contact.

The need for air finally forces our lips to part. "I couldn't come to your party tonight because I couldn't say goodbye to you. I didn't know why at first, but I understand why now. My heart stopped the moment I met you, and it didn't start beating in the right rhythm again until just now. We need to have the talk that one of us is always putting on hold because we're not ready or we're afraid that the other one will say that there will never be an 'us'. Your orders could be the best thing to ever happen to us. They turned our world upside down and forced us to see that moving forward might be a step in the right direction if we take it together."

She pulls me into another kiss. When our lips part again, we get comfortable on the couch to have the long awaited "talk". By the end of it, we've decided that we're going to work on a relationship. We don't think that it'll be easy, but we've made plans. I'll help her move next weekend and drive down the following weekend because she might not be settled in yet, but the weekend after that, she'll drive up to DC to see me and, from then on, we'll rotate weekend drives.

THREE MONTHS LATER

HARM'S APARTMENT

The weather outside is terrible. The tail end of a hurricane is dropping torrential rains on the city. It couldn't be a worse weekend weather-wise for her to be traveling up here to see me. I told her that I'd drive down in the morning, but she said that it was her turn and there was no reason to mess with a schedule that has been working so well for us.

I couldn't argue with her logic there. It took the first month's weekends together before the relationship felt real. We didn't rush into anything to the point that we went back to sleeping on the couch when one of us came over for the weekend.

Sleeping separately ended the first weekend she came up to see me during the second month. It was a slow kiss that was supposed to be goodnight that started it, but the time seemed right. I think we'd both been thinking about making love for a while. I know I'd been thinking about making love to her since that night in her apartment three months ago, but to be in her bed wasn't the only thing that I wanted, so that part of our relationship needed to wait until she knew that I was interested in a long term relationship with her and not just in having her body.

Tonight after dinner, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I hope it isn't too soon, but like that night when we finally came together, the timing just feels right to me. I hope she feels the same way.

I think I hear something outside my door for the third time tonight. This time when I open the door to check, she's leaning her wet umbrella beside my door in the hall. She enters my apartment, placing her overnight bag on the floor as she starts to remove her coat. "I'm glad you said that you planned a night in. A night like this is perfect weather for ... "

I interject an ending that I've heard her say in my dreams before, " ... making love."

She blushes. "That, too, but I was going to say snuggling up to a warm and wonderful man."

"Do you have a particular man in mind?" I ask.

"I do" she says with a smile as she pulls me into a kiss.

I pull out of the kiss, and she looks confused. "Do you think you could say that in front of a judge or a minister?"

"Say what?"

"I do. It's sort of the traditional response when you get married ... that is, if your answer is yes." I put my hand in my pocket and pull out the ring that I have for her. Her eyes focus on the ring, but she hasn't said anything. I can't handle the silence. "I was going to wait until after dinner. It would've been better if I'd waited. I just got anxious. I wanted to know now if you love me as much as I love you. I'm sorry. I should've waited to ask," I rattle off without taking a breath.

She gives me a huge grin as she looks up at me.

"I think getting it out of the way so we can celebrate all weekend is a much better idea. Don't you?"

"Is your answer yes, then?" I ask, holding my breath.

"I love you as much as you love me. So, yes, I'll marry you."

Our lips come together in a kiss like none other before. She turned my world upside down, but now that the steps that we're taking are together, at least they're in the right direction.

THE END


End file.
